The Evilest Villain Contest
by Katz Potter
Summary: *gasp!* Another story! FROM ME!!!! *snickers* This is a story in which a few villains compete to see who's evilest. No duh, just look @ the title! And, whatever u do, review! And check out my flaming rules beforehand! (Flaming Rules posted as 'A')


Dedication: This story is inspired by Sarah O'Reilly's story, 'Chaos', and is therefore dedicated to her

Dedication: This story is inspired by Sarah O'Reilly's story, 'Chaos', and is therefore dedicated to her.

_The Evilest Villain Contest_

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Characters: 

Me, Kathleen Potter

A Series of Unfortunate Events(by Lemony Snicket)

Count Olaf

__Harry Potter(by J.K. Rowling)

Lord Voldemort

Enchanted Forest Chronicles(by Patricia C. Wrede)

Antorell

Song of the Lioness Quartet (by Tamora Pierce)

Duke Roger of Conte`

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Theme music begins as the lights on the stage brighten 

Announcer: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the 5th annual Evilest Villain Contest! And here's our host, Kathleen Potter!

Kathy walks out to applause 

Kathy: Okay! Thank you! And here are our contestants, Count Olaf—

**A man with one eyebrow, shiny eyes, and a tattoo of an eye on his left ankle comes in.**

CO(Count Olaf): I want the Baudelaire fortune!

Kathy: Shut up, you can't have it. Our next contestant is Lord Voldemort!

**A man with red eyes and white skin comes in.**

LV(Lord Voldemort): I want Potter!

Kathy: Shut the bleep up! Here's Antorell, the evil guy from the Enchanted Forest Chronicles!

**A man comes in, carrying a staff.**

A(Antorell): I want Mendanbar's sword!

Kathy: You can't have it! Here's our last contestant, Duke Roger of Conte`!

**Another man comes in.**

DroC: I want the throne!

Kathy: *groans* You all want something! You all can't have it unless you win this contest!

All: *All are too evil to shout 'yippee'* Wonderful.

Kathy: *rolls eyes* You're all evil. You all are from books. Let's get this over with. The first question is: If you took over the world, what is the first thing you'd do? Olaf?

CO: I'd take all the fortunes and become rich.

LV: I'd kill Harry Potter with a slow torture curse.

A: I'd take Mendanbar's sword.

DroC: I'd kill Alan of Trebond.

Kathy: You mean Alanna.

DroC: _Alanna_? He's a girl?

Kathy: Well, duh, with features and everything.

**Alanna comes storming in, carrying Faithful, her violet eyes flashing.**

AoT(Alanna of Trebond): You ruined my cover, Lady Kathleen of Frell! Sic her, Faithful!

Faithful jumps on Kathy, scratching her everywhere. After a moment, Kathy gets the cat off of her.

Kathy: *wincing* Ow! Alanna, I'm sorry! Please, don't sic her on me again!

AoT: Why not?

KPoF: Because. I don't like cats that attack innocent people.

AoT: You're not innocent.

KPoF: *rolls eyes* Alanna, I know I'm not _that _innocent. But I'm not totally and _completely_ guilty. So get over it and go back to Tortall, okay? 

AoT: Fine. *sighs and leaves*

KPoF: Okay, now that she's gone, let's get back to our contest. The next question is: If I had a million dollars, I would…

A)Be rich

B) Stop trying to take over 

C)Kill all people who ask for my money

D)Spend it all on advanced magical objects

E)Not care one tiny bit

Which would you choose? Roger?

DRoC: D, spend it all on advanced magical objects.

A: C, kill all people who ask for my money.

LV: E, not care one tiny bit.

CO: A, be rich.

KPoF: Well, that's… interesting. Next question: If I was armed with nothing but my bare hands, I would…

A)Give up

B)Find someone to help me

C)Use a spell without my wand/staff

D)Keep on going using Plan B

Which would you do? Antorell?

A: C.

LV: C.

CO: B.

DroC: C.

KPoF: Well. Next question…. If you had gotten what you wanted, would you crave for more? Voldemort?

LV: _Lord_ Voldemort to you, Potter. Yes.

A: Yes!

DroC: Yes!

CO: No.

KPoF: *thinks, 'Good grief, Olaf isn't truly evil!'* Okay, we've only got time for one more question. If you won this game show, what would you want your winnings to be?

CO: MONEY!

LV: Harry Potter, alive and scared, waiting for me to kill him!

A: Mendanbar's sword!

DroC: The throne!

KPoF: Good Lord! All right, the scores are in. And the loser is…. *opens and envelope* Count Olaf!

CO: Aw, man! *Walks off grumpily*

KPoF: And the winner is… *opens another envelope* Well! It's a tie! All three of you won!

LV: What'd we win?

KPoF: A thousand bucks each! 

LV, A, & DroC: WHAT?

Kathy dodges a number of spells and runs out of the auditorium, scared.

LV: I'll get you yet, Potter! 

A & DroC: Me too!

KPoF: No you won't! 'Cause I'm jumping into another story!! *Giggles madly as she jumps into 'What's Your Answer?'*

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A/n: Well. That was rather odd, but it went well. The three did win, but only because the judges were too scared for their lives. The REAL winner is Lord Voldemort.

DC: I own NONE of these characters except me, Kathy aka KPoF. The characters belong to their respected authors as shown above.


End file.
